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20

Day

325

Time

07:09:38

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Welcome to the Galactic News Service
Galaxy's Most Legitimate Government Endorses Sith Banking Operation
Posted by: Syn, Eidola Pirates
Date: Year 18 Day 72 Onboard the Fairwind-class Gunship Fairwind in system Y`Toub (325, -20).
HUTT SPACE--The galaxy reacted with distracted indifference this week as CorEx announced that its operations would now be headed by the infamous Dark Lord of the Sith, Mikel von Bianchi. Illicitly hacked viewer ratings revealed that most sentients apathetically flipped back to the latest installment of groundbreaking new soap opera, As the New Republic Turns, but the galaxy's finest and most honest government responded with overt approval.

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"This is exactly the opportunity we here at the Eidola Department of Legal Embezzlement have been waiting for," said spokeswoman Meera Wubb in a statement to the Galactic News Service. "For some reason, previous banking companies just didn't want to store our treasure in a top secret bank account that couldn't be traced back to us. They all claimed they were 'too legitimate' to deal with us, even after we pinky promised that all funds were legally obtained through proper channels under Eidola's authorized Finders Keepers policy. But not so with CorEx! As soon as we discovered that the company was now being led by a Sith Lord, we just knew it had to be politically neutral and DTF. That's 'down to finance' in banking terminology, of course."

The department director, Meira Wabb, personally delivered the first load of pirate booty to the nearest CorEx location. She spoke highly of her experience.

"The tellers were extremely professional and courteous when they learned that it was my first time," Wabb reported. "They wasted absolutely no time in taking all my money and locking it out of my reach. I was in and out like a greased up Twi'lek! I highly recommend the experience to anyone looking for a money storage so secure even you won't be able to make withdrawals! After all, if you can't access your credits, neither can the thieves. 10/10, would use again."

High praise indeed from the galaxy's oldest and most reputable government. With CorEx legitimately transferred to Sith control following a perfectly mundane and not the least bit suspicious accident befalling its prior CEO, pirates and smugglers across the galaxy can rejoice at last at having a top notch banking company to fulfill all their needs, even the financial ones.


[Main Page]
Events in Brief
Year 20 Day 325: Dobbs Mottley, the leader of Kolohe Mining Group MK2 was replaced today by Musashi Kensen.
Year 20 Day 324: PURE was dissolved today due to bankruptcy.
Year 20 Day 324: Kolohe Mining Group was dissolved today due to bankruptcy.
Year 20 Day 324: Xyre Weltmon, the leader of PURE was replaced today by Eronos Lookfar.
Year 20 Day 324: Today marked the ascendency of Bando Gora into Venaari politics, as they managed to secure their own candidate's legitimacy was respected by the planet's previous ruling powers long tied to PURE.
Year 20 Day 324: Galactic business registrars recorded the opening of a new company today. Kolohe Mining Group MK2 specializes in Mining and will be led by Dobbs Mottley. The first headquarters of Kolohe Mining Group MK2 opened today in Haleakala on Vagran.
Year 20 Day 324: Drav Refter, the leader of Galactica Security Services was replaced today by Malkar Uat-Jiir.
Year 20 Day 324: A recent survey of the 3 major regions of Cron suggests that the population cite their primary loyalty to adhering to the teachings of The Jedi Order, indicating a loss of fealty to Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 324: A recent survey of the 3 major regions of Cron XXIV suggests that the population cite their primary loyalty to adhering to the teachings of The Jedi Order, indicating a loss of fealty to Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 324: A recent survey of the 6 major regions of Cron XI suggests that the population cite their primary loyalty to adhering to the teachings of The Jedi Order, indicating a loss of fealty to Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 324: Gadzooks! Scouts have discovered the system Isde Naha at location (-160, -219).
Year 20 Day 323: Tru See Csapla, the leader of Aldera Universal was replaced today by Mechna Yerikov.
Year 20 Day 323: A recent survey of the 8 major regions of Cron XXIII suggests that the population cite their primary loyalty to adhering to the teachings of The Jedi Order, indicating a loss of fealty to Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 323: After a daring and perhaps brash political move on the part of Triumvirate Coalition, The Jedi Order has decided to cede the reins of power, leaving the citizens of Cron XXIV under the control of Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 323: After a daring and perhaps brash political move on the part of Triumvirate Coalition, The Jedi Order has decided to cede the reins of power, leaving the citizens of Cron XXIII under the control of Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 323: After a daring and perhaps brash political move on the part of Triumvirate Coalition, The Jedi Order has decided to cede the reins of power, leaving the citizens of Cron under the control of Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 323: After a daring and perhaps brash political move on the part of Triumvirate Coalition, The Jedi Order has decided to cede the reins of power, leaving the citizens of Cron XI under the control of Triumvirate Coalition.
Year 20 Day 322: Galactic business registrars recorded the opening of a new company today. Outer Rim Commerce Association specializes in Trading and will be led by Gabus Peacecraft. The first headquarters of Outer Rim Commerce Association opened today in Eastpike on Urce III.
Year 20 Day 322: It seems today that while Golan Arms may be successful when it comes to production, they are less than apt when it comes to governing a planet, and the citizens of Vahaba Asteroid Belt 11 have finally come to realise this and have seized control intent on turning it over to a planetary body within several days.