Part one of our "Tales from Galaxy Fest" series was a slightly depressing tale of poor bullied Lancer Torpoli. So for this segment, we decided to provide a more uplifting tale. Today's tale is about a thriving entrepreneur and his eccentric companion that are making a grand living bringing his mobile shop to all of the major festivals, trade gatherings and major events across the galaxy.
The Tale of Mr. Snowball
Mr. Snowball is the Proprietor of Mr. Snowball's Kushiban Emporium. The Emporium is housed within a surprisingly well-maintained Sandcrawler called the Swap Meet Roving Shop. Originally intended to just be a fixture at the semi-annual Swap Meets, Mr. Snowball now travels the galaxy collecting assorted wares and then gets his sandcrawler delivered to major events to sell his collected goods. One of his best-selling goods was mentioned in our previous tale. Mr. Snowball's shop is the source of the cuddly plushie dolls that Lancer Torpoli coveted. We visited Mr. Snowball in his shop to ask about his life, his collection, and his adventures in mercantile life. During the interview an odor lingered in the air like a wet blanket over the entire space. We could not quite place the smell.
We asked Mr. Snowball about his favorite wares and his best-selling items. His most precious commodity is his collection of balloons, although his Kushiban dialect skews his pronunciation in Basic, and it sounds more like "Bawoons" when he speaks. A large part of his acquisition efforts revolves around obtaining new colors and materials for his balloons. His balloon research has led to a nearly impermeable bladder which is why they can maintain their flotation-ready gas density nearly indefinitely. They are also now hardened by a secret specialized process that makes them highly resistant to puncture during normal wear and tear. "Ho ho ho, he says these are not common bawoons that that dastardly Chevin, Greg the Carnie, allows to be slaughtered in his game. As far as Gregs go, Greg the Carnie isn't that bad, but what he lets people do to those poor bawoons! Not to my bawoons, mine are works of art to be admired and cherished."
Mr. Snowball has a nemesis, who has yet to be seen at the Galaxy Fest, although local authorities are on alert. It seems that at many of the events Mr. Snowball sets up shop, a nefarious Ewok bandit who goes by the moniker Gregarious Greg tends to appear and pilfer his wares then peddle them out on the street, or sometimes even give them away for free! Gregarious Greg routinely undermines his sales and business. "Every time I think I have him cornered, that sneaky Ewok wriggles free and escapes. You haven't seen him around, have you? Greg is one of the reasons I have Fluffy here! He is great at keeping my inventory safe."
Fluffy. We haven't yet mentioned quite possibly the oddest attendee at Galaxy Fest, Mr. Snowball's companion in the sandcrawler. Fluffy is an enormous Krayt dragon who lairs among the stacks of crates and containers that are Mr. Snowball's inventory. Fluffy is a small part pet, a large part security system, and fully frightening. Although, Mr. Snowball says that one of his most amusing pastimes is enticing some of the more daring (or more drunk) attendees attempt to pet Fluffy. “My benefactor trained Fluffy to only eat raw bantha and I keep him well fed, so he doesn't really want to eat people. Frankly, these days, meat other than bantha would likely give him a case of indigestion something fierce. But he also doesn't like to be messed with. So when provoked, he just takes a little bite out of them and spits them back out. He really is quite gentle for a Krayt, as mild mannered one as you’ll ever see, or maybe he just doesn't see us as a threat. I’m not entirely sure. Either way hasn't yet killed anyone that I have seen, though most folks who try to pet her do require a lot of medical attention.” Mr. Snowball says while tossing Fluffy a series of large raw bantha shanks.
During our interview with Mr. Snowball one such daring Galaxy Fest attendee got up the nerve to try to pet fluffy. A small sentient decked out in what appeared to be a full suit of authentic Mandalorian armor approached Fluffy. Seeing the impending drama, Mr. Snowball took a break from our interview to watch. Noting the arrival of a would-be petting provider, Fluffy let out a low growl first, a warning to the interloper to back away. The growl made the floor plates of the sandcrawler vibrate. Undeterred, our armored interloper continued forward. Fluffy let loose a fearsome roar. Even off to the side, I needed to cover my ears to avoid the full force of the deafening blast. I looked over and noticed that Mr. Snowball had put on a pair of earmuffs sometime since the arrival of the challenger. Despite the force of the roar, the approaching figure stepped up and touched fluffy. Immediately, the enormous head of the beast snapped around at frightening speed and snatched up the armored body. The dragon's jaws appeared to have a slightly difficult time fully snapping shut on the figure. Whether that was due to the tough armor or another factor was hard to determine. However, the beast's mouth fully enclosed the suit, making it disappear for a moment. Seconds later, with a nauseating regurgitation sound that echoed off the metal walls of the sandcrawler, Fluffy expelled the interloper across the room. His green-tinted armor, now also coated in a bile-like slime, arced through the air. The suited figure hit the wall with a ping and crumpled into a heap. One of Mr. Snowball's attendants rushed over to the up-heaved individual, later identified as Jevon Lambright, who seemed to use some inner reserve of strength to restore himself, albeit slightly. Jevon made it to his feet and retreated down the sandcrawler's gangplank, refusing medical attention. Mr. Snowball grinned widely, "That little guy handled it better than most, I’ll admit. That goes to show, size does not always equal strength!"
I tried to ask Mr. Snowball about how he came to cohabitate with a Krayt, and the origin of this mysterious benefactor he alluded to earlier. He was a bit cagey and dodged my lines of questioning. The best we can tell, the Krayt was a 'gift' from his benefactor, a crazed Kushiban who had somehow 'tamed' the dragon. This certifiably insane hare gave him the sandcrawler and the direction for his business. We also asked Mr. Snowball about the odors. Mr. Snowball is not sure if the odor in the sandcrawler. He has narrowed it down to either being the unhousebroken Krayt, or perhaps it is the remnants of a Jawa clan that was forcibly removed from the vehicle by his crazed benefactor.
