We have presented you a variety of tales from Galaxy Fest from the depressing to the uplifting, but today's tale delves into the seedy underbelly of Galaxy Fest. This story was written by a guest writer who will receive all the proceeds from any donations.
The Tale of a Festival Clown
While we admit sentients from all corners of the galaxy have come to visit the festival, from government dignitaries to pirate kings and renowned smugglers, this tale is not of a guest but one slightly sullied entertainer: Boo Grams the Clown. The human clown can usually be found loitering in the warehouse district where he performs rather infrequently.
One of our reporters stuck around the area after collecting a handful of tickets from the nearby Math Man Matt as he noticed a small crowd gathering near Boo Grams. Expecting to see a fun show, our reporter was shocked to see the clown pulling out what appeared to be Deathsticks and other medical items out of the many pockets in his billowing pants. The crowd soon dispersed after handing over copious amounts of credits for the drugs.
When approaching Boo Grams, we were shocked to see him actively smoking a Deathstick. We managed to strike up a conversation with Boo Grams although he was highly paranoid that we were members of the local police force. After convincing him that we were in fact not a police officer, Boo Grams offered to sell us a variety of drugs but he only had Deathsticks, Ryll Patches and Ryfills on him at the moment as much of his stock was recently bought. We politely declined and inquired as to how he came to be selling drugs while dressed as a clown and what sort of customers he has seen throughout the festival.
We only got a curt reply to 'bugger off if we weren't interested in buying drugs as we were scaring away legitimate customers. Before we could press him further our meeting was abruptly cut short when a couple of local police officers walked by on one of their regular patrols. Quick as a flash, the drugs had disappeared back into his pockets and Boo Grams began a half-hearted performance.
Seeing that our chance to talk to him further was pointless at this stage, we had a chat with the nearest ticket vendor, Math Man Matt to see if he had anything to say about it. "Yeah, I can't say I fully approve of what he does, but he sure is great for business." The Givin chuckled, "Do you know how funny it is to see someone who is floating as high as that rogue balloon trying to shoot these targets?"
After saying farewell to Math Man Matt, we turned back to see if we could resume our conversation with Boo Grams only to discover he was gone from his usual position. We scanned the area to see where he had gone. We spotted Boo Grams as he surreptitiously slipped through a side door in one of the warehouses down the street. Figuring that we would have the chance to talk further in a quiet place, we followed him down to the warehouse and went inside.
We were greeted by the sight of Boo Grams digging around through several large boxes of drugs. It seems we had stumbled upon where he kept his surplus stock. When alerting him to our presence, our ears were assaulted by a string of profanities and threats that we are unable to report in good conscience. We managed to calm him down by promising not to alert the authorities about which warehouse he was using to store his stock in exchange for a few comments. Boo Grams leant back on one of the boxes as he began telling his story.
"Well, I used to be an honest clown when I first started, but when I kept getting paid really crappily compared to all of the other carnies, I decided to do something about it." The clown lit up another Deathstick and took a drag before continuing, "I figured I could make a fair amount by selling recreational drugs as no-one else had cornered the market in our group." Boo Grams paused to scratch himself, "Sure, the ticket vendors are a bit disapproving, but they haven't really complained so far. I figure it's because they actually prefer their customers intoxicated." He gestured with his Deathstick, "Now if you want real crooks, have a closer look at the operators of the festival games. It's a whole scam, but hey, that's what makes the universe go around."
After we concluded our conversation with him, Boo Grams began stacking up his wares and when queried on it he said it would be safer to move his stock to a more secure and less known location.
