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25

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162

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Welcome to the Galactic News Service
Successfully Scheming Jawas Sneakily Seize Sector
Hacked by: Bif Beefi, Sarlacc Integrated Design
Date: Year 22 Day 83 Location Unknown

Reports have been coming in that Jawa Offworld Enterprises has recently taken economic control of the Arkanis sector by using tax loopholes and other legitimate business tactics. This is following a long campaign by the Jawa group to improve their own standing in the galaxy. Using advanced jawanomics techniques such as advertising and market manipulation the Jawas have managed to make Tatoo a center of legitimate as well as illegitimate business throughout the sector, giving them a majority of influence in the governance of the region. Sentients across the galaxy, but mostly just sentients across Tatooine, have been asking how this happened and what this means for the future of the sector and Jawakind.

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Many shipboard navigational computers have picked up on the political shift and have begun to advise pilots to travel through a different sector.

The scheme to take sector control was no small order. It all started by accident in late Year 21 when enterprising Jawa, Zu Icaz, realized that it was possible to rapidly boost the numbers on his books. By selling and reappropriating the same handful of droids it was possible to greatly inflate a business’s cash flow, gaining esteem among peers and rival Jawa clans alike. Naturally, once other Jawas figured this out, the practice spread like Jundland brushfire, or like sand fleas on a bantha for those who aren’t familiar with the failed attempt to bring grasslands back to Tatooine. While most of the activity has been focused on droid sales, many have diversified their portfolios into businesses as diverse as investments in porg sandwiches and black market weapons. Shortly thereafter, the economy of Tatoo and surrounding Jawaspace ballooned to the point where it exceeded most of the surrounding area, in a completely legitimate and lasting way which is definitely unlikely to change within the month.

Jawas are already trying to figure out how to best use this position of power to profit from those below them. Some have suggested that as a relatively small alteration, the sector of Arkanis should be hastily renamed to Jawarkanis for obvious reasons. Alternatively, it is possible to simply alter a vowel to make the sector named off the Jawa’lor Diini Kedin, otherwise known as Ini, by changing the sector name to Arkinis. One of the more profitable ideas, however, is for the Jawas to attempt to make use of their new position of power in order to deregulate droid ownership throughout the region, abolishing an archaic system of “ownership” laws that tend to paint Jawa salvaging businesses as criminal.

Additionally, despite Jawa Offworld Enterprises wrestling effective control of the sector away from The Resistance, a notable Rebel-aligned organization, the Jawas continue to insist that they are in fact not Imperial stooges. This comes amid mounting controversy regarding Imperial influence in Tatoo, with repeated sightings of the Victory Star Destroyer “Judgement” in the area. Additionally, some have worried that criminal influence and bribes have been having a greater effect on the Jawa government than previously anticipated, with several criminal groups being spotted around Tatooine and local officials often not “measuring up” to ethical standards. However, supporters of the Jawa led government have pointed out that by taking bribes it is possible for tax rates to be substantially lowered, a technique that they argue should be adopted by often poorly-funded rebels throughout the region.

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Highly regarded Jawa Economist Ines A. Styne's droid prediction model explained

Speculators find it unlikely that Jawas will maintain control of the sector for long, with JOE controlling a very small portion of the sector's resources compared to neighbouring groups. Regardless, the galaxy can continue to expect Jawa antics throughout the region. Anyone in need of emergency Jawa antics is advised to contact their local JOE representative.

[Purchase political favor]


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