Welcome to the Galactic News Service
Free commerce, petty crime, and family vacations. These are only a few of the tremendous benefits associated with the riches of jawacracy in Tatoo. It was only a year ago that Ini Kedi took on the sacred duties of Jaw’alor, namely safeguarding the many tributes of beskar given to him in homage, as well as officiating over weddings, child namings, and McJawa grand openings. However, the time of Jaw’alor Dinii Kedin, Chief of the Jawalorians has come to an end.
One of many dramatic images shown in recent hours.
Nejal K’teefah, of the famous K’teefah brothers, after watching many Mandalorian holovids challenged the Jaw’alor to a duel for his title. So, in typical Jawa fashion, and according to longstanding Jawalorian traditions of one year, each of the two gentlejawas engaged in a mynock wing eating contest, sponsored by the one and only Sweet Baby JOE’s, as well as a fight to the death. The wing eating contest was deemed to be a tie after each Jawa ate an astounding 183 mynock wings a piece. Notable Jawa chef Mizal Zamzam had this to say: “Honestly, I don’t know how they did it. It’s actually impressive considering that I ran out of Sweet Baby JOE’s and had to use the sauce I made to clear out my sandcrawler’s exhaust manifold. Let’s just say, if you’re gonna interview them, I’d do it now.”
After a few days recovery, and heavily armed with doctor’s notes, Nej and Ini sent forth their most vicious GNK droids for a raucous pit fight. After an intense battle only lasting approximately twelve seconds Nejal was deemed victorious once Ini’s GNK slipped on a mynock wing bone thrown into the GNK pit by one Jic Uiji. Afterwards, Ini was reported as having said, “Knew I shouldn’t have bought that droid from Wizz. He probably fixed’em up after visiting the ryll mine. I shoulda known.”
The victor of a brutal fight to the death!
Consulting with Holder of the Holy Salvage, Voice of the Tinkerer, Bestower of Titles, and leader of the Industrial Magi Tilba Ugama, and his team of jawalawyers, in addition to a multiplicity of bribes and back door deals, Ini transferred the holy title of Jaw’alor to Nejal K’teefah. Through the byzantine workings of Jawa salvage law and custom he was able to retain his signature beskar armor, all beskar ingot tribute obtained to his abdication, as well as 27% of all future Jaw’alor related merchandising royalties.
The new Jaw’alor demonstrates a keen sense of balance and party hosting prowess.
When asked how he felt about the tremendous honor of being Tatooine’s newest Jaw’alor, Nejal graciously remarked: “I don’t have time to answer your questions. I’m important now. Please forward all inquiries to my brother, Esteban”
[Pledge credit based loyalty to the Jawa’lor]
Year 25 Day 162: Voracity Aesculapian was dissolved today due to bankruptcy.
Year 25 Day 162: Zeet-ish`Tchizik was dissolved today due to bankruptcy.
Year 25 Day 161: Endara Mining Corporation was dissolved today.
Year 25 Day 161: Deep Space Shipwrights was dissolved today due to bankruptcy.
Year 25 Day 161: With the brutal civil war that has consumed
Atraken C in recent months only escalating, most of the galaxy’s governments no longer recognize
Sons of Turul as the planet’s ruling body.
Year 25 Day 161: After reports of military and political leadership on their payroll, most analysts suggest that
Hapes Consortium is the de facto power on
Corvanni II.
Year 25 Day 161: With no one left who is willing to challenge their leadership or run for planetary office,
Hapes Consortium has now assumed complete control of
H'ratth.
Year 25 Day 161: Hapes Consortium is now widely recognized as the most likely to stabilize the situation on
Corvanni V, and has been offered aid and recognition by most of the galaxy's major powers.
Year 25 Day 161: After reports of military and political leadership on their payroll, most analysts suggest that
Hapes Consortium is the de facto power on
Corvanni VI.
Year 25 Day 161: After reports of military and political leadership on their payroll, most analysts suggest that
Hapes Consortium is the de facto power on
Corvanni I.
Year 25 Day 161: Hapes Consortium is now widely recognized as the most likely to stabilize the situation on
Celebul, and has been offered aid and recognition by most of the galaxy's major powers.
Year 25 Day 161: Hapes Consortium is now widely recognized as the most likely to stabilize the situation on
Corvanni IV, and has been offered aid and recognition by most of the galaxy's major powers.
Year 25 Day 161: Hapes Consortium has wrested control of
Corvanni III away from
Endara Mining Corporation after a shocking election season that has left analysts puzzled.
Year 25 Day 161: Multiple candidates have declared victory in the recent planet-wide elections on
Corvanni V, pushing the world toward a civil war. It is clear that
Endara Mining Corporation remains the governing power in name only.
Year 25 Day 161: With the brutal civil war that has consumed
Corvanni VI in recent months only escalating, most of the galaxy’s governments no longer recognize
Endara Mining Corporation as the planet’s ruling body.
Year 25 Day 161: Multiple candidates have declared victory in the recent planet-wide elections on
H'ratth, pushing the world toward a civil war. It is clear that
Endara Mining Corporation remains the governing power in name only.
Year 25 Day 161: After widespread accusations of corruption by
Endara Mining Corporation in
Corvanni II's elections, it is unclear who is the rightful leader of the world's government.
Year 25 Day 161: After widespread accusations of corruption by
Endara Mining Corporation in
Corvanni I's elections, it is unclear who is the rightful leader of the world's government.
Year 25 Day 161: A coalition of populist movements have wrested control of
Celebul away from
Endara Mining Corporation, promising to keep the world autonomous and free of off-world influence.
Year 25 Day 161: Corvanni IV’s economic and political situation has disintegrated into chaos, making it unclear who exactly is in charge - but it isn’t
Endara Mining Corporation.
Year 25 Day 161: StarDust Mining was dissolved today.
Year 25 Day 161: After widespread accusations of corruption by
Endara Mining Corporation in
Corvanni II Minor A's elections, it is unclear who is the rightful leader of the world's government.
Year 25 Day 161: After widespread accusations of corruption by
Endara Mining Corporation in
Corvanni II Minor B's elections, it is unclear who is the rightful leader of the world's government.
Year 25 Day 161: A coalition of populist movements have wrested control of
Corvanni II Minor C away from
Endara Mining Corporation, promising to keep the world autonomous and free of off-world influence.
Year 25 Day 160: Athakam MedTech is now widely recognized as the most likely to stabilize the situation on
Abraxin Companion, and has been offered aid and recognition by most of the galaxy's major powers.
Year 25 Day 160: Athakam MedTech is now widely recognized as the most likely to stabilize the situation on
Argai II, and has been offered aid and recognition by most of the galaxy's major powers.
Year 25 Day 160: After bitter negotiations, the citizens of
Argai Companion have relented and agreed to allow
Athakam MedTech to govern them.
Year 25 Day 160: After bitter negotiations, the citizens of
Argai have relented and agreed to allow
Athakam MedTech to govern them.
Year 25 Day 160: A coalition of populist movements have wrested control of
Abraxin Companion away from
Athakam MedTech, promising to keep the world autonomous and free of off-world influence.
Year 25 Day 160: After a landslide vote of no confidence,
Athakam MedTech is no longer the ruling body on
Argai II.
Year 25 Day 160: Multiple candidates have declared victory in the recent planet-wide elections on
Argai Companion, pushing the world toward a civil war. It is clear that
Athakam MedTech remains the governing power in name only.
Year 25 Day 160: Argai’s economic and political situation has disintegrated into chaos, making it unclear who exactly is in charge - but it isn’t
Athakam MedTech.
Year 25 Day 160: The computer aboard the Ithorian Herdship Bafforr Jubilee has reportedly experienced a malfunction causing all the room map names to become jumbled! Technical experts are attempting to correct the issue.
