Welcome to the Galactic News Service
Biotech, reknowned for its chains of galactic hospitals and massage parlours, issued a news release after giving the topic nearly 4 minutes of half-hearted thought as to what they should say. Teniel Djo, leader of the group, said she felt it was wise to boost her own sense of self-importance in the galaxy by making this startling announcement.
Teh poorly spelt article outlined nothing of any real import to the galaxy, or even anything that any citizen of any sector could possibly give a nerf about. Comprehension on the article was made more difficult by the fact the spokesperson interjected randomly "I am really cool, look at me!" when asked questions pertaining to varying subjects by members of the assembled press.
This shocking news was accompanied by seemingly random images that Biotech believed would somehow impress readers of the Galactic News Service, with their supposed relevance and bright colours.
Sadly, this announcement by Biotech came on the eve of far sadder news, the percentage of galactic beings who even bother to read the Galactic News Service anymore, has reached an all-time low, as demonstrated below.
Year 25 Day 175: Gadzooks! Scouts have discovered the system
Arvala at location (330, -260).
Year 25 Day 175: CRITICAL UPDATE: Gasteroid impacts
Ord Mantell, takes down shields, and leaves massive crater. It is reported that there were minimal casualties, and that rescue efforts are now underway. The government of Ord Mantell has declared an emergency.
Year 25 Day 175: CRITICAL UPDATE: GASTEROID IMPACT INTO ORD MANTELL IS IMMINENT -- IF YOU HAVE NOT CLEARED THE AREA, DO SO QUICKLY. ALL CITIZENS ARE ADVIZED TO SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY
Year 25 Day 175: Gasteroid’s economic and political situation has disintegrated into chaos, making it unclear who exactly is in charge - but it isn’t
Quests.
Year 25 Day 175: With no one left who is willing to challenge their leadership or run for planetary office,
Galactic Empire has now assumed complete control of
Abregado-san.
Year 25 Day 175: With the brutal civil war that has consumed
Abregado-san in recent months only escalating, most of the galaxy’s governments no longer recognize
Galactic Empire as the planet’s ruling body.
Year 25 Day 175: Jabiim Consortium has been renamed to
Menagerie. The press is still waiting for comments on the change.
Year 25 Day 174: BREAKING: Gasteroid has slipped between Geod'n and Diamxi. None dare predict where it will end up. Ord Mantell has raised its planetary shields to maximum power and Gasteroid authorities are starting a mass evacuation at D175 0:00.
Year 25 Day 174: Jarwen`faar Kruder, the leader of
Jabiim Consortium was replaced today by
Damyo Kruder.
Year 25 Day 173: Amidst the tremors and gravitational anomalies, Linkin Bark performed tonight on Gasteroid as a part of their Twin Suns tour for a record crowd of nearly 950 sentients, setting a new all-time record! Rumor has it that they are donating leaves as a reward for attending!
Year 25 Day 173: BREAKING: Astronomers have measured the changes in Gasteroid's velocity and course. The probability of a collision with Ord Mantell or one of its moons - Geod'n, Diamxi or Quantxi - is considered high. Authorities are not urging an evacuation yet...
