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Year

20

Day

294

Time

16:32:31

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Please, Think of the Children
Posted by: Andre Lauche, The Angry Rancor Distribution Company
Date: Year 20 Day 83 Onboard the Dreadnaught-class Heavy Cruiser Die Ketzerische Gelben Schmuddeligen in system Hjaff (-86, -71).

 

*** This is a public service announcement from the leader of The Angry Rancor Distribution Company, Andre D Lauche. ***

 

 

 

"Greetings sentients of the galaxy, I'd like to address some rumors that have been simmering just under the surface. It seems that there is a group trying to drum up business by slandering their competition.

Many, myself included, are highly offended by this development. Anyone who wants to compete for shelf space is more than welcome to throw their hat into the ring. The free market should be the deciding factor but one group has crossed the line."

Andre pauses, looks down at the counter for a second and then looks directly at the camera.

"We at The Angry Rancor Distribution Company would never, ever taint our booze and drugs with...bacta!"

Andre sighs

"This is insulting and reckless. The thought of cutting our ryll with bacta not only makes me cringe but it can put hazardous ideas into the minds of the youth of this great galaxy. If some scamp decides to soak their deathsticks in bacta...they could suffer catastrophic damage to their heart and/or hearts, permanent brain damage and even kidney failure.

If these rumor mongers really want to compete, they should do so through the quality of their drugs and not slander. Also, putting dangerous thoughts into ones customers mind is self defeating. A dead customer ceases to be a valued customer.

Thank you for your time."

 

 


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Events in Brief
Year 20 Day 294: A new treaty was established on Kalarba I today between governing officials and diplomats from Confederacy of Independent Systems; these documents formalize the transition of power to becoming a protected territory of the government, a move largely embraced by the citizenry.
Year 20 Day 294: Rather than fall in line with Confederacy of Independent Systems's recent requests, Kalarba I issued a release today announcing that they have formally accepted the more conciliatory terms of a planetary body, and have declared Confederacy of Independent Systems a criminal organization on their planet.