The holoprojected image crackles to life oddly and freezes on a cute furry head. The distorted small furry creature suddenly looks furious in the hologram and the next image appears to be a very close look at some very sharp teeth. A moment later, the furry little creature, clearly an Ewok, is seen walking smoothly backward, regaining her composure.
She gives a big furry smile upon reaching her initial position and begins to speak in a calm slow voice, "I do apologize for the technical difficulties. I appear to have knocked some sense into my recorder. I am coming to you on Galactic Day 284 in the great year of 23! I have acquired moons Froz III B & C! The sentients of these moons, being tired of ineffective democracy of the Rebel Alliance, invited myself, Vera Zhaif, and Lucifer Von Kaldreon, to rule them as a noble queen and tsar respectively!
"For some time now, the residents of Froz III B & C have been jealous of the governing force the other moons in the Froz system are protected by. Being blissfully ruled by their highly esteemed duke, the neighboring moons have enjoyed freedoms and incentives that Froz III B & C could only dream of! The tides have turned in their favor, Lucifer and myself have heard their cries and fought to obtain them! Widespread celebrations have begun and the fireworks can be even be seen from orbit!
"The moons, known for their goat-like creatures rumored to be the inbred offspring of a galactic sentient named Russ Leman, provide the best source of cheese and high quality milks in the system!
"The Unnamed Meritocracy and Froz III B & C will reach greatness together!"
The holoprojection flickers and Vera Zhaif the Ewok is suddenly seen in a different spot.
"Damnit Lucifer fix the camera!"
"Sorry, Vera…"
"I forgot to add that the ship's systems have been damaged by bandits and it has affected the radio comms. I do apologize for any delay in this broadcast!"
The furry Ewok queen, lovingly known as "Grandma Vera", and Tsar Lucifer wave happily as the holoprojected broadcast ends.
