The familiar Chiss news anchor speaks to the camera. He is broadcasting from the bridge of a capital ship.

News Anchor: "We report tonight from high orbit of the Smuggler’s Moon as the surface is in utter turmoil due to the recent sentience of the Guild’s city design spreadsheet. From what we have been able to gather, the program became aware sometime yesterday and started a war with the Smugglers Guild for control of the moon. The spreadsheet, identifying itself as ‘Celine,’ states, ‘Mazer doesn’t understand the subtleties of appropriate planetary design. He cannot be trusted.’ We go now to Guild leader, Sol Mazer, above the cities of Nar Shaddaa with his squadron."

The image changes to Celine with an inset of Mazer in the cockpit of a Y-Wing. The view outside of the craft is a spinning confusion of danger. 

News Anchor: "Mr. Mazer, this is Guild Quarterly. How goes your effort to regain control?"

Mazer: "Oh, hey. I’m kinda busy at the moment... (Into his headset) What??!...  TAKE IT OUT! I don’t care, just do it! The Zeltron dancers need air support! ... (To camera) Can we do this at another time?"

News Anchor: "No. Relate to us how this started." 

Mazer: (Answers as he cranes his head around for targets) "Well, we’re doing a redesign of the moon, and I thought, ‘What if I put four prisons and thirty slave markets in this city? Will this block fit twenty-four casinos? What if I put a labor camp over here?' That sort of thing. Then I adjusted our spreadsheets for the changes and deleted a bunch stuff—POO-DOO!!! AHHHHH!!!  (The cockpit’s exterior spirals as Mazer avoids SAMs and beam weapons. He responds with a volley of his own laser fire.)  NINE HELLS that was close! … Jeez… I, uh, deleted all the libraries and fountains and parks from the 'sheets. Removed all the apartment buildings. You know, just having some fun with the program. Next thing—(Mazer reflexively ducks his head as a chunk of debris bounces off his canopy)—the next thing that happens is ‘Celine’ pops on the screen.  She’s tellin’ me I’m unfit to oversee Nar Shaddaa and starts a shooting war with the Guild. Using our own planetary defenses and droids do it!"

News Anchor:  "What is the Smugglers Guild doing to correct this?"

Mazer:  "We’re doing a proper fix right now. Celine will be toast before you know it. (Speaking into his headset) Woodchuck to Face-Man. Woodchuck to Face-Man. Respond, Face-Man…. Reith, I’m forming up on your six. Ooo! Got EEM!!  NICE SHOT!!  Flying over your left shoulder to do my run. Give me some room... YEEEEE-HAAAAA!!!!"

The video inset of Mazer goes black.

News Anchor: "The Celine War is the first—wait! This just in: Planetary Governor Jaxon Al`zandar is on the surface of the moon. We have just established a link with him. Are you able to talk, Governor? Where are you?"

Appearing on the holo are Jaxon and other smugglers in an enclosed room with technical equipment. The room shakes with the tremors of the war. Dust and small bits of debris fall on the smugglers in the frame.

Al`zandar: "We're in an old, reinforced bunker; I’m hesitant to say precisely where. DeGriz fired up his 510 to get us here. We ran into some heavy orbital weapon fire and automated city defenses. What flying!  That man deserves an award."

Olos is in view with an archaic comms device in hand, he is covering the mouthpiece. He addresses Al`zander.

Olos: "Dude… The Jawas say it’s not a bug— it’s a feature! (Into the receiver) Where? Where does it say in the owner’s manual that the program takes over? 'The User Agreement??’  NOBODY READS THAT STUFF!"

News Anchor: "What do you hope to achieve, Governor? Can control be restored before the moon suffers more damage?"

Al`zandar: "I hope so! Eidola gave me administrator credentials back in the day. Mazer probably never changed the access requirements. I might be able to get into the city design system and put an end to all this." (He moves the input device of his workstation and taps at the console as the room bounces with explosive shockwaves. Tense moments pass and then, suddenly, everything goes quiet.)

Al`zander: "I shut her down! Task manager to the rescue!"

The smugglers begin to celebrate. The feed cuts back to the Chiss anchorman. 

News Anchor: "It seems the conflict has been resolved—and not too late, some would say. We will continue coverage after our break."