Ladies, Gentlemen, I welcome you in the press conference zone prepared in the Palace. I am Brigadier General Ragnar Drakken, Chief commander of the ground operations on Tatooine, my home planet, and Commander-in-Chief of the Imperial Army.
I am glad to announce that Operation Sandstorm has been a complete success. All cities of Tatooine are occupied by Imperial Armor units. Army Stormtroopers are reinforcing the Armor units as I speak, without real opposition. The coward criminals of the Black Sun have been chased away from Tatooine. Those captured have been gently... disposed of with good care.
***Drakken presses a button and a holonet appears on the wall behind him. Humans and aliens, men and women, prisoner in their handcuffs, are being transported on skiffs in the middle of the Sea of Dunes... then, they stop in the middle of nowhere... Stormtroopers use tazer staffs to push them out of the skiffs... one by one... into a funnel hole... and the whole has teeth. A few reporters' faces squirm in disgust as the monster starts to digerate the prisoners casted in his mouth...***
For those who are not from Tatooine, this is the all-powerful God of the desert, the feared and reverred Sarlacc. A sacrifice to the Dark Side for our glorious victory over these sedious bastards. And this is only a beginning...
***Drakken presses another button and an AT-AT intercepting a few prisoners surrendering...
... the AT-AT advances... and crushes him to a bloody pulp with his metal paw***
The rare nests of resistance here and there have been throughly annihilated. Mos Eisley has been the first to fall without a single hostile presence...
***The image shows Mos Eisley, shortly before the bombardment of advanced positions by AT-ATs***
...to be followed by all other cities of Tatooine. But Mos Eisley is representative of the cowardness of the Black Sun criminals... and those captured have been treated like the useless trash that they are.
Hithero, as Military Commander of Tatooine, I hereby promugate officially that Tatooine is now part of the Galactic Empire. Its inhabitants are now subjects of his Imperial Majesty Uebles, and subject to Martial Law until new order.
All Black Sun captured on Tatooine, if not killed already while trying to defend themselves for a change, will be fed to Sarlacc, disemboweled, quarreled, and so on. In other words, put to death in a painful and gruesome manner. The population of Tatooine love these kinds of show, and I will be more than happy to provide it for them.
Non-Imperials will be arrested and interrogated, their fates left in the hands of the Imperial Military Command on Tatooine.
Imperials without proper authorization will be arrested and interrogated, and will face judgement according to the Imperial Law.
Any question?"
***Silence is total in the room, and after almost a minute, a woman's voice speaks squimishly...***
General, there have been rumors of a Jedi presence on Tatooine. Can you confirm or infirm this information?
***Drakken moves briefly his shoulder to take a stern stance...***
Lady, I have also heard these rumors. These are being investigated by the Army, in cooperation with my good friends the Siths. And if indeed this information is proven true, I wouldn't wish to be in their shoes as they will be hunted down and... cleaned away. Other questions?
***Heavy silence again...***
Thank you for your time. And Long Live the Empire!
***As Drakken leaves the podium, stormtroopers salute swiftly. This time, there are no brouhaha anymore among the reporters.***
