This message was brougt to you by Enigma on behalf of Oilios Katastrefor

"And it will be raining faeces for the next few days. Thats all for weather, now back to our top story."
An unfamiliar logo replaces Ando's weather forecast for the next tenday, to be repaced by the image of a short, grim-looking ewok.


The man chirps, but the chirp doesn't reach your ears, being of such a high frequency it is only reconizable to a few select races. Your Bothan roomate however, runs around in circles screaming.

"I'll make this short, not unlike myself. My name is Gaga Wicket, head of House Wicket. Tremere, the House of Wicket affirms your claims to the leadership of Kuat. The house of Wicket. We stand by you in this time of trial, tribulation, and big white men with steel birds and four-legged metalic behemoths. Dey a real scary! "

He leaned slightly forward. "House Darian stands with the House of as well as brother houses such as the house of churpa, the house of R2D3 and the International House of Pancakes and we all voted you in, affirming your leadership. Your answer to Lord Jackson aroused me. Yes, this ewok was pitching a... nevermind. Futhermore, we wish to join you in your denouciation of all who reject your claim, as they are stupid poopy heads. Did the Jacksons lack a pair that would allow them to stand up to your true claim, that they object, with more than words? Did these telbuns have to resort to pure slander? First, Lord Durand, you ought to listen what your betters are saying, you are a true leader, you lead the Imperial Army, composed of such magnificant specimens such as Gamorreans and ...well... maybe just a single magnificant specimen. And if you don't understand why people object, let someone with less brains explain it to you. Those people are S-T-U-P-I-D P-O-O-P-Y H-E-A-D-S, who don't understand that logic, rational and a high IQ are no substitute for rash accusations and empty claims."

He bared his teeth in a grin that showed not a trace of mirth. "As for your Imperial rank of General... you worked hard to get yourself in a good position so that when all your superiors, who, should be named inferiors, left, you were the only one left willing to take up the reigns. Since even imbeciles like Syn and subhuman superhumans like Banquo Knox left the EMpire, in favor of not being killed by pompus Emperors, you reached your well deserved rank quick, but long delayed. We are honoured to kick such an ursuper of Kuat's shrivelled behind."

"Therefore, the House of Wickett will use any means at its disposal to ensure that all who dispute this claim, will be poked with sticks and tickled into submission. Should that fail, we shall throw faeces at them. And if that fails, we shall have a certain Memnon Ismay befriend them. Now that is cruel punishment."

The ewok fades, and a message from the ewok's sponswer appears.

This message is brought to you by the undisputed lord of Coruscant, someone who knows a hell of a lot about empty claims to leadership.

"In other news, Former Drax Industries' Big Giant Penis, Midge Cellewan, has created a new group, Zomm racing..."

Message ends.