NORTH POLE (Darkness) – Members of the Joint Polar Governing Committee, representing the Kaminoan and Gungan residents of the North Pole comet, met briefly today with the media to discuss last week's emergency situation. Both the Kaminoan Governor and the Gungan Prince were present to make statements, although neither accepted any questions.
Speaking first, the Kaminoan Governor was brief in his remarks. "While we are still investigating the totality of the circumstances that led to this disaster, several things remain clear at this time. First, it is clear that a rogue element within the Gungan population was responsible for the theft of a Cloning Vat, and the subsequent abduction of Lancer Torpoli from his customary perch in Winter City. Second, at this time we have no leads into the current location of Mr. Torpoli. We have received no ransom demands, and unfortunately we have no proof of life. However, we maintain hope that he is unharmed and subsequent contact will reveal his location or his status. Third, as we have communicated directly to many of you, we are extremely grateful for the efforts of everyone present on North Pole during the emergency. If you have not already done so, please go speak to our senior technician in the Palace research lab to discuss a reward."
The Gungan Prince took the stage next after a brief equipment change due to the height difference. "Wesa muy sowwie for the bombad time here. When wesa findin da meanie who take da penguin, they gonna have muy bombad time too. Since wesa not da best at findin people sometimes, wesa have given muy muy big shinies to the Kaminoans so theysa can put together a prize for da capture of thisa bombad thing." The Gungan Prince pointed to a large poster displaying an artistic represenation of L4anc3r T0rp011, the escaped cyborg clone of Mr. Torpoli.
Retaking the stage, the Kaminoan Governor pointed to the wanted poster. "As my colleague has said, we have placed a bounty for the elimination of L4anc3r T0rp011. The abomination is too dangerous to be allowed to roam the galaxy. We are finalizing our coordination with the various Mercenary groups throughout the galaxy at this time. Within the next 48 hours, we expect that the official bounty will be released to all Master hunters. The cyborg should be considered armed and extremely dangerous, and we respectfully urge those who are not acclaimed and recognized Masters of the craft to leave this hunt to the professionals. If you should encounter the cyborg, please contact your nearest Mercenary faction and wait for assistance. It has caused quite enough harm already, and we do not want anything unfortunate to happen to those who are unprepared for his enhanced strength and lethality." With a respectful nod, both the Governor and the Prince then left the stage, with the multitude of reporters present shouting unanswered questions to their retreating forms.