Free commerce, petty crime, and family vacations. These are only a few of the tremendous benefits associated with the riches of jawacracy in Tatoo. It was only a year ago that Ini Kedi took on the sacred duties of Jaw’alor, namely safeguarding the many tributes of beskar given to him in homage, as well as officiating over weddings, child namings, and McJawa grand openings. However, the time of Jaw’alor Dinii Kedin, Chief of the Jawalorians has come to an end.
One of many dramatic images shown in recent hours.
Nejal K’teefah, of the famous K’teefah brothers, after watching many Mandalorian holovids challenged the Jaw’alor to a duel for his title. So, in typical Jawa fashion, and according to longstanding Jawalorian traditions of one year, each of the two gentlejawas engaged in a mynock wing eating contest, sponsored by the one and only Sweet Baby JOE’s, as well as a fight to the death. The wing eating contest was deemed to be a tie after each Jawa ate an astounding 183 mynock wings a piece. Notable Jawa chef Mizal Zamzam had this to say: “Honestly, I don’t know how they did it. It’s actually impressive considering that I ran out of Sweet Baby JOE’s and had to use the sauce I made to clear out my sandcrawler’s exhaust manifold. Let’s just say, if you’re gonna interview them, I’d do it now.”
After a few days recovery, and heavily armed with doctor’s notes, Nej and Ini sent forth their most vicious GNK droids for a raucous pit fight. After an intense battle only lasting approximately twelve seconds Nejal was deemed victorious once Ini’s GNK slipped on a mynock wing bone thrown into the GNK pit by one Jic Uiji. Afterwards, Ini was reported as having said, “Knew I shouldn’t have bought that droid from Wizz. He probably fixed’em up after visiting the ryll mine. I shoulda known.”
The victor of a brutal fight to the death!
Consulting with Holder of the Holy Salvage, Voice of the Tinkerer, Bestower of Titles, and leader of the Industrial Magi Tilba Ugama, and his team of jawalawyers, in addition to a multiplicity of bribes and back door deals, Ini transferred the holy title of Jaw’alor to Nejal K’teefah. Through the byzantine workings of Jawa salvage law and custom he was able to retain his signature beskar armor, all beskar ingot tribute obtained to his abdication, as well as 27% of all future Jaw’alor related merchandising royalties.
The new Jaw’alor demonstrates a keen sense of balance and party hosting prowess.
When asked how he felt about the tremendous honor of being Tatooine’s newest Jaw’alor, Nejal graciously remarked: “I don’t have time to answer your questions. I’m important now. Please forward all inquiries to my brother, Esteban”
