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23

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214

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08:28:33

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Welcome to the Galactic News Service
Dominion Press Release: Tomas o`Cuinn
Posted by: Tomas O`Cuinn, Blue Star Engineering
Date: Year 23 Day 136 Onboard the Imperial I-class Star Destroyer BSD Bastion in system Woldona (370, -230).

Dominion News Network
Woldona I, 23.136

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In a press release today, a spokesman for the Blue Star Dominion publicly distanced the organization from Tomas o`Cuinn, a reputable businessman who was accused by the Faerytail Family several days ago of stealing twenty billion credits from the Aurodium Legion and allegedly robbing Black Sun of multiple Star Destroyers and a star system. The spokesman, an older human male wearing a bath robe atop his business attire and sporting a questionably loose mustache, spoke to reporters today inside the primary hangar bay of an Imperial I-class Star Destroyer orbiting Woldona I.

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Above: Spokesman Nottomas o`Cuinn speaks to reporters before a backdrop.

"The Dominion has recently become aware of allegations against Marshal Tomas o`Cuinn's conduct relating to the Aluminum Legion and someone's black son," stated Nottomas o`Cuinn, the spokesman. "After a thoroughly brief investigation into the matter, the Dominion condemns his actions and is announcing a-" he stopped speaking for a moment, glancing down at a datapad on the podium, "-twenty billion credit bounty on his head, to be delivered alive. Two million credits dead." Nottomas paused again, sipping on a glass of clear liquid before continuing. "Furthermore, the Dominion would also dispel any rumor about it or its personnel owning any Star Destroyers. Rest assured, the Galactic Empire maintains a firm grip over its warships and technology, and would never allow any Imperial Union member who lost control of multiple Star Destroyers to remain an active member. To suggest that we could possibly own such a powerful warship would be absolutely absurd."

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Supplemental Background Information

The Aurodium Legion, a former member of the Imperial Union, is a self-described "contingent of hardened mercenaries" and is named after a shiny rock its founder spotted one day. Analysts at the time suggested the mercenary's membership within the Union was an indicator of the ineffectiveness of the Empire's own military.

The Black Sun, an active member of the Imperial Union, is a former crime syndicate once famous for its influence in the criminal underworld. Its respected standing in the galaxy has rapidly diminished over the years as it has become increasingly an Imperial puppet state, struggling to maintain control over its own assets (allegedly including multiple Star Destroyers and the Gree star system) after an exodus of Vigos and other officers during the troubled von Ismay reign.

The Faerytail Family, an active member of the Imperial Union, is some form of organization led by a self-proclaimed "flamboyantly bi-sexual green alien kitteh tubeworm" who was legitimized by the Emperor upon acceptance into the Union. This leader, a primitive Amani who paints himself green and wears dismembered Cathar ears as some form of religious mating ceremony, is well-known for maintaining the toxic "we're a family" environment within the organization, reportedly the cause of many eye rolls from the Faerytail employees.

Donate to Tomas o`Cuinn's Legal Defense Fund

Donate to the bounty on Tomas o`Cuinn

Inquiries related to this story can be sent to Nottomas o`Cuinn

Brought to you by Galactic Bank (without their knowledge)
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[Main Page]
Events in Brief
Year 23 Day 213: Tomas O`Cuinn, the leader of Blue Star Enforcement was replaced today by Victor O`Cuinn.
Year 23 Day 213: Victor O`Cuinn, the leader of Blue Star Enforcement was replaced today by Tomas O`Cuinn.
Year 23 Day 213: A new treaty was established on Celen today between governing officials and diplomats from Sienar Conglomerate; these documents formalize the transition of power to becoming a protected territory of the government, a move largely embraced by the citizenry.
Year 23 Day 213: Machiezmo Juggalo, the leader of Deep Automation Manufacturing Nexus was replaced today by Elegos Ryder.
Year 23 Day 213: House of Ballads has been renamed to Deep Automation Manufacturing Nexus. The press is still waiting for comments on the change.
Year 23 Day 213: Elegos Ryder, the leader of House of Ballads was replaced today by Machiezmo Juggalo.
Year 23 Day 213: Rather than fall in line with Sienar Conglomerate's recent requests, Celen issued a release today announcing that they have formally accepted the more conciliatory terms of a planetary body, and have declared Sienar Conglomerate a criminal organization on their planet.
Year 23 Day 212: Lara Navos, the leader of Cantrell Institute of the Arts was replaced today by Tann Sivron.
Year 23 Day 212: A new information group began broadcasting today. The Legacy of Ithor will be led by Wynk Waawat and opened its first headquarters in ORE (3,0) on Xo I.
Year 23 Day 211: K`ala Zaktu, the leader of Galactic Traders Union was replaced today by Nicroxio Calamari.